Does Anybody Make a Vagina Cork?

Does Anybody Make a Vagina Cork?

Some of you have probably heard already that Nadya Suleman, the octuplet mother, has lost her publicist, Victor Munoz. Yes, good ol’ Victor resigned because… well, in his own words: “This woman is nuts.”

“Nuts?” You mean a woman who gave birth to eight children when she already had six is “nuts?” I find that hard to believe!

Anyhow, I received a phone call from Suleman herself just a few hours ago, asking me to sign on as her new publicist. I do not know where she got my number, but you can bet that I will hunt the culprit down and do what bears do best [...]

This Is REALLY Not What We Had Discussed

This Is REALLY Not What We Had Discussed

It has happened. Mr. Joaquin Phoenix has resurfaced since his “retiring from acting” announcement way back in October. If you happened to miss this momentous occasion, it is not too late to familiarize yourself with the situation. Simply click here, and you will be transported back in time.

Although some may claim that Mr. Phoenix chose a different path because of my advice, I will argue again that my blood alcohol [...]

Kanye West Is At It Again

Kanye West Is At It Again

It seems that he has officially pronounced himself as the voice of this generation. Let me make sure I have the quote correct… in an interview he gave to Derrik Lang, West states that:

“I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice. It’s me settling into that position of just really accepting that it’s one thing to say you want to do it and it’s another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan.”

Wow. [...]

So We Have A New President

So We Have A New President

I would like to applaud both candidates for a real bang-up job on campaigning. Nobody cracked under the pressure, nobody cried while revealing some dark secret, and nobody got drunk and fell down in front of the press while singing a few bars to “Cum On Feel the Noize.”

Not bad for this year’s election. [...]

This Is NOT What We Had Discussed.

Wow. This is NOT what we had discussed.

I was surfing the Internet this morning when I came across this article on Yahoo:

Joaquin Phoenix Shocks With Retirement Announcement

Joaquin Phoenix is walking away from his very successful acting career to pursue music. Here is what he said in an interview given to E! Online [...]

Those F***in’ Teletubbies.

Those F***in’ Teletubbies.

Nude Sherman Art Exhibit Causes Museum to Close

Nude Sherman Art Exhibit Causes Museum to Close

This last weekend was exciting for me. My first nude art exhibition was displayed in lower east Manhattan at the Sylvanian Art Center (do not look for it, as it has been demolished since). The exhibition was primarily a fundraiser for the No Undermining Disrobed Efforts (NUDE) group. This collective would hold exhibitions around the states, ultimately closing the venue down because of the high cost/low turnout ratio. I honestly do not know how this organization stays afloat.

I am proud to say that MY nude art exhibition registered the highest attendance for the museum in their illustrious 89-year run [...]

Sherman on American Idol?

Is Sherman the new judge for American Idol?

In case you did not read this in the papers, and chances are you did not because this was “hush-hush” to the media, but American Idol approached me a while back about being this upcoming season’s fourth judge. I actually considered accepting the position, but in the end I declined because the traveling arrangements were unacceptable to me.

It turns out that they would not let me bring all my girlfriends on the bus or plane, and being the good Sugar Bear that I am, I was unable to choose just ONE. I mean, who can choose just ONE? [...]