It’s amazing how awful the music business can be. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are artists out there to contribute something and there are those that exist as “filler,” like those “fillers” on albums. I know that not ALL artists can be as great as The Beatles, and I’m not saying that all artists need to be as great as The Beatles… I’m just saying that it’d be nice if artists would at least TRY.
This artist that I’m looking at today doesn’t even seem to be trying… and that upsets me.
If you’ve been frequenting TheFrontloader.com lately, you might have seen this banner that has been gracing our pages.
Oh yes, it’s for real. There actually IS a Ke$ha (she uses the “$” because “It’s all the money I’ll ever need,” she says… and tops it off with “’Cause I’m fucking money!” Nice… this coming from a girl who looks like she needs a lot of money because she’s always strung out on black tar heroin. Look at her on the advertisement for her single, “Tik Tok,” she looks obliterated and is begging for a handout.
My first thought when I saw that banner was “Why is there a fucked-up girl on my site?”
Wait… it gets better than that. Here’s the banner that you see when you actually click on that link:
Is this some sort of joke? Does ANYONE here actually want to buy a record from someone who looks totally doped up on you-name-it? Don’t we already have enough artists like that? I’m sorry, but one Amy Winehouse is all we’ll EVER need.
But Kesha (sorry, I just can’t do the “$” thing) ISN’T just another doped-up artist… no, according to this article on WWD.com, Kesha’s “unlike today’s custom-clad pop stars.” This apparently means that she’s going to try to be “different” by saying typical “oooh look how deep they are” things like, “My favorite stuff that I’ve ever found has been from trash cans. And I bought this incredible vest off a homeless guy recently.”
Ooooh. Deep.
A better use of time than listening to Kesha
Here’s the funny part. Kesha’s mentor and producer, Lukasz “Dr. Luke” Gottwald, claims that “You don’t find an artist like her every day or every year.” In the same article, Gottwald goes on to explain that “I wanted to find someone unique and someone interesting,” he says. “[I was looking] for a voice to strike me…and when I heard Kesha’s voice, I was like, ‘Holy crap! Let’s find this girl.’” Take a listen to it (if you dare). One question I have for Mr. Gottwald… if Kesha has SUCH a great voice, why do you use all those effects on it? I mean, she sounded best at 0:30… it’s a shame you didn’t keep that for the rest of the song.
Turns out that Kesha was 17 at the time and doing rather well in her studies (so she says). According to Kesha (this has yet to be confirmed), she scored a 1500 on her SAT’s and was planning on studying psychology and religion at Barnard College.
For a girl who claims to be this bright, she sure picked a dim-witted way to introduce herself to the world. LOOK at that banner! And look at the text! Great, inviting lines like “Gimme ur email, BITCH!” and “HOLLER!” (which I cannot STAND because it makes you sound as stupid as someone who might say “Gimme ur email, BITCH!”) make her look like someone who’s not trying to let the music talk.
And that’s probably the only smart thing she’s done so far, because the music is awful. It’s yet ANOTHER example of someone sucking the soul out of art. I took one for the team and downloaded her single, “Tik Tok,” and I hope God forgives me someday for doing it.
The opening verse says it all:
Grab my glasses I’m out the door I’m gonna hit this city
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
Cuz when I leave for the night I ain’t comin’ back
I’m a sucker for a good pop song. There’s a place in this world for songs that talk about how “I Saw Her Standing There” or how everybody has a “Hungry Heart,” but this music is unforgivable and I think everyone involved in this project knows it by encouraging Kesha to just stand there, look pretty wasted and keep talking so that the press has something else to focus on other than the POS music. How ELSE can you explain why anyone would EVER say something like “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d like a fancy bag, but I’d probably just run it over with my car to make it look dirty.” Yep. That Kesha’s a card!
She’s also doing her best to “stand out” from all the other pop stars by saying bullshit things like “I think they [her label] liked that I don’t give a fuck and I’m completely irreverent. [I’m] just a bit more willing to be retarded and not apologize for it.” If I were a label, I think I would NOT like the fact that my artist doesn’t “give a fuck.” Why would I drop thousands upon thousands of dollars on someone who doesn’t “give a fuck?” What a horrible business decision!
But that’s age talkin’ there. I remember thinking that way, too… then I grew up. Let’s hope that Kesha has the time to do that as well…. either that or hope that Barnard College saved her a seat.
What a waste of time and I’m sorry I put you all through it.
If you’re interested in reading the rest of the WWD.com interview, click here.
Your (I hope you don’t) Dig-It (I won’t make you) Download:
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Wow – awful.
And that's coming from someone who loves “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne. But if it's going to be a pop song, make it catchy and simple. Not fake hardcore pseudo whatever that was.
Dr Luke has a lot to answer for, but – and I say this in all seriousness – he is very, very cute and therefore can be forgiven :)
It's the dumbing down of music and art as we know it. It's really pretty sad that this girl, who supposedly has brains, is allowing herself to be exploited like this….. but she isn't the first and she won't be the last. Thank goodness for all the real and true and respectable talent that is out there! Their art overshadows HUGE MISTAKES such as this…….
Haha!! That plant watering caption cracks me up.
Yeah, I'm thinking having “P. Diddy” in the first line of the song was their first mistake (of many). “Boys try to touch my junk” is another… I mean what respectable girl refers to their… um… junk… as junk?
I predict that in a year or two we'll see her trying to change her image by putting out a collection of lullabies for kids or something… just watch.
Same ol' crap, with the heavy base, synth, and forgetable lyrics…(not to mention the nails on the chalkboard voice) I would not classify this as ART. (well maybe the macaroni and yarn kind…)
This is unique? Doesn't sound any different from any of the other bubblegum hot-aint-gonna-take-no-shit-but-i-sure-can-party girls that are suffocating pop radio. BLECH.
I actually dig on Avril Lavigne too… but this Kesha nonsense is something I can do without. Although I haven't ever seen Dr. Luke in person, I'm glad he agrees with you!
“She isn't the first and she won't be the last”
So true.
Do boys refer to their stuff as “junk?”
I prefer to call my stuff… “treasure” or “a privilage,” but that's cuz it's me. On Kesha, I have no doubt it's “junk.”
Hey hey HEY! On behalf of all the macaroni and yarn kind of art out there, I take offense to your comment!!!!
I don't think I've EVER come across a “hot-aint-gonna-take-no-shit-but-i-sure-can-party girl” in my LIFE before. She's definitely one of a kind!!!!
The most awful song I have ever heard – “everybody get crunk the boys want to touch my junk” (or some variation of this line) OMG that is pretty bad then add a little autotune to make it sound worse…. “Don't stop DJ….” God please DJ stop! Stop it right now before I kill myself – The record label and music industry 'professionals' who has advised this poor girl that this is what is 'hot in the streets right now' need to be shot – obviously I am not advocating shooting people, in fact I am very much against that sort of thing however everytime the song comes on the radio and the slightly camp Radio presenter says: “… that was the new banger from non other than Ke$sha… you know I'm really feeling that song makes me wanna get my Party on…. Why dont you call or text-in to let me know what all y'all think… Hit me up on 0800 d-i-c-k h-e-a-d thats, 0800 d-i-c-k h-e-a-d” I want gouge my eye out or alternatively turn off the radio, either way I cannot stand to hear this garbage anymore.
The most awful song I have ever heard – “everybody get crunk the boys want to touch my junk” (or some variation of this line) OMG that is pretty bad then add a little autotune to make it sound worse…. “Don't stop DJ….” God please DJ stop! Stop it right now before I kill myself – The record label and music industry 'professionals' who has advised this poor girl that this is what is 'hot in the streets right now' need to be shot – obviously I am not advocating shooting people, in fact I am very much against that sort of thing however everytime the song comes on the radio and the slightly camp Radio presenter says: “… that was the new banger from non other than Ke$sha… you know I'm really feeling that song makes me wanna get my Party on…. Why dont you call or text-in to let me know what all y'all think… Hit me up on 0800 d-i-c-k h-e-a-d thats, 0800 d-i-c-k h-e-a-d” I want gouge my eye out or alternatively turn off the radio, either way I cannot stand to hear this garbage anymore.