Monday mornings are bittersweet for me. It’s the start of a new week, which means that anything is possible, but it also means that it’s the END of a week, which makes me think of all that did NOT happen.
Here are some things that did NOT happen to me last week…
1. I did not NOT get into my microbiology class
2. I did not get around to watering some plants in my backyard… they’re probably dead right now
3. I did not wash my car like I’ve been saying I’d do now for the past 30 weeks
4. I did not watch the Charger game on Saturday night
5. I did not fight crime like I usually do
6. I did not get to say “I’m Batman” like I usually do while fighting crime
7. I did not get to try out my new Bat-arang that was custom made in Switzerland from a guy named “Betty”
I think that about covers the basics.
Waaaaitaminute… if you’re now thinking “HEY! Ol’ Swap is BATMAN!!!!” then you’re wrong. I’m NOT Batman. Just because I wear a Bat suit, drive a Bat car, use a Bat utility belt, and have a butler named Alfred does NOT mean I’m Batman. I COULD be just some guy who’s really rich and has nothing better to do than pretend he’s some fictional character. Sure, I fight crime and 99.9999% of the time I kick the bad guy’s ass, but that’s only because I’m friggin’ Batman.
Waaaaaaitaminute… if you’re thinking “HEY! Ol’ Swap is BATMAN!!!!” then you’re wrong…
Hold on. Didn’t we JUST do that conversation?
You’re probably wondering by now what the HELL this post is about, and the answer is this: I HAVE NO FRIGGIN’ IDEA. I just needed a backdrop to present to you a bunch of songs that I listened to this weekend. There’s no rhyme or reason to this collection… except that they’re all pretty good songs that are pretty good if you want to listen to some pretty good music.
One song in this list deserves some extra attention, though… and that’s Jake Owen‘s “Something About A Woman.” This is one of the more lyrically ridiculous songs I’ve come across in a long time, and I actually forgot how ridiculous it is until I heard the song again…
The song is about how there’s something about a woman that “makes this life worth livin’ and it makes a man a man.” Nice sentiment… but then check out what Jake says about what this “something” is:
Took the oil and rubbed it all over her soft skin
Oh I’m a lucky man
She wasn’t wantin’ any suntan lines so she
Reached back and she untied that little string
And then she smiled at me
He then goes on to say in the chorus:
Yeah some kind sweet little something
That I may never understand
Yeah some kind of gift they’re given
That makes this life worth livin’
And it makes a man a man
Oh there’s nothing like that
Somethin’ about a woman
I know Owen is trying to sound deep and sensitive, but let’s face it… DUDE, YOU GOT A WOODY. He’s not talking about anything more than pitching a tent and choking the chicken.
The line in the chorus “But there’s something about a woman / Yeah some kind sweet little something / That I may never understand” is just a bunch of boohickey. “I may never understand,” my ARSE. Just check between your legs, dude… you’ll understand in a jiffy.
Songs like this make me laugh. This is a lesson for you men out there: don’t try to sound like you have substance… women will see right through it and tell their girlfriends how lame you are. If you’ve got no substance at that moment, then run with it. Believe me, women will at least respect you, and that means the door is still open.
Am I right?
Even if I’m wrong, the song is ridiculous. But the rest of the tunage here ain’t. Here’s to an awesome Monday!!!!
By the way… I threw in one of my songs just for shits and giggles. I’d love your thoughts on it… but be kind!!!!
Your Dig-It Downloads:
Download: C’mon C’mon! – Bronski Beat
Download: Broken Home, Broken Heart – Husker Du
Download: Something About a Woman – Jake Owen
Download: You and the Moon – The Spares
Download: Up to Speed – Thomas Lee
Download: That Girl – Gasoline Heart
Download: Electric Avenue – Eddie Grant
Download: Distant Dreamer – Duffy