Some of you have probably heard already that Nadya Suleman, the octuplet mother, has lost her publicist, Victor Munoz. Yes, old reliable Victor resigned because well, in his own words: “This woman is nuts.”
“Nuts?” You mean a woman who gave birth to eight children when she already had six is “nuts?” I find that hard to believe!
Anyhow, I received a phone call from Suleman herself just a few hours ago, asking me to sign on as her new publicist. I do not know where she got my number, but you can bet that I will hunt the culprit down and do what bears do best:
hot, steamy, naughty, naughty sex tearing them limb from limb and then beating them with those limbs while saying to them, “Stop hitting yourself!”
The phone conversation with Suleman went like this:
It was a very short conversation.
After a while, though, I felt a twinge of regret of how I spoke to her. She did not deserve to be called a “Demon Woman.” No, “Crazy Lady” was sufficient enough. So to make me feel better (because that IS the most important thing here), I found these two inspirational posters made especially for Miss Suleman. Hopefully she will see these and find some solace that someone in this world understands her plight.
And now, just to make myself feel even better, I am going to offer her a bit of wisdom that should have been given to her many, many, many, MANY moons ago. Nadya, if you would like to know how you can help yourself and your fourteen children, listen up…
PUT A CORK IN THAT VAGINA!!!
Ahhhh… I feel SO much better.
– Good day.