Does Anybody Make a Vagina Cork?

Some of you have probably heard already that Nadya Suleman, the octuplet mother, has lost her publicist, Victor Munoz. Yes, old reliable Victor resigned because well, in his own words: “This woman is nuts.”

“Nuts?” You mean a woman who gave birth to eight children when she already had six is “nuts?” I find that hard to believe!

Anyhow, I received a phone call from Suleman herself just a few hours ago, asking me to sign on as her new publicist. I do not know where she got my number, but you can bet that I will hunt the culprit down and do what bears do best: hot, steamy, naughty, naughty sex tearing them limb from limb and then beating them with those limbs while saying to them, “Stop hitting yourself!”

The phone conversation with Suleman went like this:

“Hello, is this Sherman Bear? This is Nadya Suleman… I’d like to hire you as my publicist.”

“How did you get my number, crazy lady? We never spoke, Demon Woman!”

(click)

It was a very short conversation.

After a while, though, I felt a twinge of regret of how I spoke to her. She did not deserve to be called a “Demon Woman.” No, “Crazy Lady” was sufficient enough. So to make me feel better (because that IS the most important thing here), I found these two inspirational posters made especially for Miss Suleman. Hopefully she will see these and find some solace that someone in this world understands her plight.

And now, just to make myself feel even better, I am going to offer her a bit of wisdom that should have been given to her many, many, many, MANY moons ago. Nadya, if you would like to know how you can help yourself and your fourteen children, listen up…


PUT A CORK IN THAT VAGINA!!!

Ahhhh… I feel SO much better.
– Good day.

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11 thoughts on “Does Anybody Make a Vagina Cork?

  1. The woman is “messed up” for sure. We all have our own “reality”, but hers is “out there”.

    WTF is up with the doctor that helped her have kid, 7-14?

    I expect to hear the news story that he’s done IVF on virgins and has “Baby Jesus'” running around everywhere!

    I had premature twins in 1994, they didn’t have any major issues, no vents, they just needed to be monitored for a while and grow. They were in the hospital for 3 weeks and the bill was 250K. I can’t imagine what the bill will be for these 8 babies. And yes, the hospital can “not charge”, if so they will be sucking up alot of expenses. I think I would make sure that the Dr. that implanted this woman would not be seeing/admitting patients to that hospital.

    I do place alot of “blame” on the doctor. Seems to me that anybody would have seen that this woman was “nuts”. I just wonder if she was told, do this, you’ll be famous, and people will provide you with what you need to raise the kids.

    Bless those kids!!

  2. Wow! No holds barred. But you’re right “Sherman” someone should have explained to her that her womb is not a clown car! Maybe if someone had been forthright and honest with her or if someone fired the doctor, we as tax payers wouldn’t have to endure this burden of stupidity. Because inevitably we will be the ones picking up the bill. I feel extremely for those kids. What she is putting them through is cruel and unfit. When I saw a clip of her visiting them in the hospital it made me nauseated, you know it’s all for her glory and has nothing to do with those poor innocent babies. Makes me sick that the news deems this worthy to put on the tube. Anyhow just like the comment above Bless those Kids!! They will need lots of prayer and good thoughts going out to them.

  3. Ahhhh Sherman, I heart you.

    I’ve got the TV on and this chick is on Dr. Phil now. Damage control, I suppose.

    Oy, 14 kids. We already know she’s a little off her rocker, but seriously, what WAS that doctor thinking????

  4. I heard a former publicist of hers say on an interview she didn’t mean to get 8 more, it just happened, she was only looking for one. Even if this is true, with 6 kids already, WHY?????

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