Valentine’s Day is just a few days away! If you’ve got somebody, make sure you do something nice for them… buy them some chocolates, order some flowers, let them control the remote, do that one thing they’ve always wanted you to do in bed… ANYTHING to show them that you are recognizing the official day of love.
One thing that I know a lot of folks enjoy doing is the radio love dedication. There’s nothing like hearing that someone has dedicated a love song to you… your heart begins to pound, your eyes glaze over, and you just can’t wait to wrap your legs arms around your one and only.
If you’re the one doing the dedicating, though, make sure you’ve chosen an appropriate song! Avoid making the most embarrassing fau paux ever by dedicating a song that doesn’t quite relay the correct message! I’ve known people to make this grievous mistake… the results were NOT good.
True, we can’t tell you what to dedicate to your one-and-only, but we can steer you clear of danger… here are the Top 5 Worst Love Songs to Dedicate to Someone on the Radio. They may sound like a good idea at first, but they’re really not…
5. All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You – Heart
I’ve written before about how hilarious this song is to me. The title sounds very touching… “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You…” but in reality, the song should be titled “All I Wanna Do Is Get Knocked Up.”
Don’t believe me? Here’s a brief synopsis of the song:
One rainy night, a woman picks up a stranger on the side of the road. She looks at him and thinks “He’ll do,” and drives to a hotel that she’s frequented often. The guy’s thinking “SCORE!!!!” while the woman is thinking “I need your man-seed.” They do it all night, and in the morning she leaves one of the scariest notes a man could ever read. The note states her intentions, she used him so he could knock her up.
A few years later, the two happen upon each other. She shows him his child, and tells him “Don’t worry, you don’t need to be involved. I already have a man, but we weren’t able to conceive.”
The guy’s probably thinking “WHEW!” but he SHOULD be thinking, “Why didn’t you just go to a sperm bank? We didn’t even use protection!!!! You’ve probably done this before… excuse me whilst I go bathe myself repeatedly!”
Yeah, that’s the story in the song. Not that great of a tune to dedicate to someone… unless you’re just looking to get knocked up.
Download: All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You
Heart on Amazon
Heart on iTunes
4. With Or Without You – U2
A friend of mine once told me how this was her and her boyfriend’s “song.” They would request it at dances and hold each other closely while gazing into each other’s eyes. I had to stifle a laugh because DUDE, this is NOT a good song to dedicate to each other.
If I tell you, “Baby, I can’t live WITH or WITHOUT you,” that’s not a good thing. What that line is telling you is, “I can’t stand being near you, but still… you DO give good nookie.”
Lines like, “You give it all but I want more” and “She’s got me with nothing to win and nothing left to lose” don’t exactly paint a picture of love. The guy’s REALLY demanding in this song, and he won’t ever be satisfied, no matter how hard the woman tries.
Now, if THAT is the status of your current relationship, then by all means, dedicate away! But in my book, it’s not a great way to start an evening. You might as well just say, “Thanks for coming. Now go.”
Download: With Or Without You (live somewhere)
3. Every Breath You Take – The Police
It’s no secret that this song isn’t actually a “love” song, but a song about a stalker. What? You didn’t know this already? You were going to dedicate it to your loved one this Valentine’s Day? Man alive, are you lucky!
This is what Sting (the guy who wrote this song) says about the lyric:
I believe we just saved your relationship. You can thank us later.
Download: Every Breath You Take
The Police on Amazon
The Police on iTunes
2. Amazed – Lonestar
This song is the classic example of a guy who is just BS-ing to a girl about how he feels about her. If you look at the lyric, the guy’s describing Miss. Anygirl, USA. He likes “The way you whisper in the dark???” NICE. There’s nothing that says “I Love You” more than being unclear and unspecific about your love.
“Baby, I’m amazed by you.”
“Awwww, how sweet! What about me amazes you?”
“Uh… you know, every little thing you do.”
“Uh-huh. Tell me one thing I do that you love.”
“You know, that one thing… that THING you do… you know, the one that I love so much?” (wink wink nudge nudge knowutimean?)
“You sick bastard.” (slap)
Download: Amazed
Lonestar on Amazon
Lonestar on iTunes
1. Lips of an Angel – Hinder
If you have the cajones to dedicate this song to someone using your REAL name, I’ll give you a gazillion Scooby Snacks. I can see it happening, though, because of the song’s title. I wonder how many people really know what this song’s about?
Check out these choice lyrics:
And yes I’ve dreamt of you too
And does he know you’re talking to me?
Will it start a fight?
No I don’t think she has a clue
NICE. They’re both involved, yet they’re calling each other to play footsies over the phone. So if you dedicate this to someone, you’re saying that you don’t love who you’re with… because there’s no WAY you’d dedicate this to someone you ARE with.
And if that’s not enough reason, then just check out the guy’s voice during the chorus. GEEZ he’s trying hard to sound tough and angry. He actually comes off scary and a little freakish… like if you don’t agree with him, he’ll beat your dog until you do.
Download: Lips of an Angel
Hinder on Amazon
Hinder on iTunes
We here at TheFrontloader.com feel that we’ve done a sincere service here today for you all. Be safe this Valentine’s Day, in and out of the bedroom!!!!
What are some other songs that belong on this list? Let’s hear it!
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